On Moving To New York City: It’s Just Me, There.

“I’m not moving, I am just going to a new city.” I told Mary.

“…but MARTIN” her voice screeched highly and her face contorted to reflect her confusion “that IS moving. You’re moving to a new city, that’s a big deal!”

Mary had been suggesting for some time that we throw a going away party for me. But I was against the idea from the get go. I love parties as much as the next 26 year old, but I didn’t feel that this was a anything that warranted a party.

For one, I didn’t want all the attention on me. I hate that. Secondly, I didn’t want to jinx my move. I thought that if we threw a party, that the move would fall through and I would have had to explain to everyone why I was back in the bay area and not in New York.

But most of all, I didn’t want a party because it honestly didn’t feel like I was moving anywhere. Sure, I was going to a new city, in this case New York, but I  wasn’t changing. It was just going to be me, there.

My external conditions were about to change, but that’s only temporary. Internally, I was the same person, with the same goals, drive, ambition and even insecurities.

Jay Z once said that if you “put me anywhere on God’s green earth, I triple my worth”.

While I can’t yet triple my worth I feel that if you “put me anywhere on God’s green earth, I’ll make it work.”

I have written in the past about how one’s location shouldn’t dictate their happiness. I have met people that are happy in Modesto and others that are miserable in Paris. It’s all about how react to your surroundings and how you maximize the opportunities presented to you.

I read somewhere that “wherever I go, there I am.” Whenever we move or go to a new city we tend to overanalyze and overwhelm our thoughts with anxiety and fears that have not yet or will not happen. At the simplest level, it’s just you, there.

For the past few years, I have been keenly studying the tenets of Stoicism, a very practical philosophy with Ancient Greek and Roman roots  that emphasize a logical and sound approach to dealing with everyday stresses and challenges. As Ryan Holiday says

” It doesn’t concern itself with complicated theories about the world, but with helping us overcome destructive emotions and act on what can be acted upon. Just like an entrepreneur, it’s built for action, not endless debate. “

Men much smarter and more studious than I have summarized and analyzed the philosophy much better than I could ever hope to do so. I highly suggest you spend time reviewing those links. It will pay off in the way of a quelled mind and sound logic.

In this brilliant video series, the speaker emphasizes that internal happiness is only possible when men live in accordance to nature.

“The Stoic man has made his life consistent with nature. And nature is everywhere, it exists in every place and time..so the Stoic man is never any place, but home.”  

By no means am I comparing myself to Marcus Aurelius. No way. But this approach, or understanding that “the world is my city” makes one feel right at home, no matter how far away from Mary and home one may be.