“…and Steven Gerrard with another long ball to an un-attentive Andy Carroll…”
With Euro 2012 rapidly approaching, I’d like to take a look and explore the various styles of some of the major footballing nations.
England: Constant long balls to the centre forward. Depending on the wind, the centre forward’s postion may vary.
Spain: Pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, (54 minutes later) goal. Pass, pass, pass, pass, game over.
Italy: Six defenders in front of goal. No creativity in the midfield, counter attack, forward dives, penalty, goal.
France: Argue amongst yourself, light Citroen on fire, crash out early, blame coach.
Argentina: Fail to form cohesive unit amongst extremely talented pool. Blame Leo Messi for quarter-final exit.
Brazil: …how the fuck did they score?
Germany: Operate efficiently, radically and mechanically. Shots on goal may exceed 92mph.
Mexico: Constantly berate and verbally abuse referee. Blame bad pitch for loss.
Canada: Too busy watching hockey to dabble in soccer.
Netherlands: Another championship loss? Always the bridesmaid. Never the bride.
United States: Much like their foreign policy. Show up late, cause a ruckus, then leave before the job is done.
Austria: Realize hosting a tournament is the only way to be invited to one. Convince mom and dad to throw biggest party of 2008.